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 …random thoughts…

10/6/2015

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Mastering the art of doing nothing…

When our friend Julia came to Samara for her first visit she brought her friend Claudia with her. When they got here Julia asked Claudia what she wanted to do during their trip. Claudia said “absolutely nothing”. Julia said she struggled with that, being okay with doing absolutely nothing. She’s a planner, a doer, a typical American who wants to fill their vacation with activities and sights-to-see. Claudia is also an American, but has lived in Costa Rica for almost 2 years. She said it took her 6 months for her to become okay with doing nothing, and a few more to actually enjoy doing nothing. Her husband is Costa Rican and his family’s favorite thing to do is: NOTHING.

She described five hour dinners, where much of the time was spent sitting in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. It took her a while to embrace the awkward dinner silence, and to not jump to fill in the gaps with useless babble and conversation. Once she learned to let go of the awkward silence, the silence became less awkward.

She told us that, in her opinion, most Americans aren’t good at ‘doing nothing’. They come to Costa Rica with a week of free time, they plan multiple activities and fill every second of their day, often leaving more exhausted than when they got here. They leave needing a vacation from their vacation.

Costa Ricans are good at doing nothing and they don’t feel guilty about it. We all work hard in life (or we used to at least), and taking the quiet moments to “just be” is exactly what pura vida means. Quiet the mind, so you can listen to your heart. I think we could all use more quiet moments in our lives: peaceful, silent moments, of doing absolutely nothing. Lucky for me, I’m already really good at doing nothing. For others (Andy), this may take some practice…



Andy’s Driving School…

Costa Rica is the 10th worst country to drive in, in the entire world. Only 10th?? I can’t imagine that it can get much worse than this. That is truly terrifying. It is reassuring to know that Andy can drive anywhere. Literally. We had the brilliant idea of starting a non-profit agency here called Andy’s Driving School. We wouldn’t charge anyone, we’d just give out free driving classes since everyone here needs it so badly, to better the country overall. We could make up little business cards and hand them out to the worst drivers on the road. Congratulations! You suck and have been nominated for a free class where you can learn how to suck a little less. Maybe we can help Costa Rica drop to the 11th worst country to drive in. We have big goals in life…



All you need is less…

Life is just simpler here. Easier. I’ve seen so many local women walking around, carrying a baby in their arms. No baby sling, no stroller, not even a diaper bag in sight. If the kid pees they can either walk home to change him, let him run around naked, or embrace the fact that he won’t die if he has on a wet diaper for 20 minutes. They walk their kid to the beach for the day. No swings, no bouncy things, no sleeping pillows, no bottles. No toys, except the best ones: the sand and the ocean.

People make us think we need all this stuff. But do we really? Are we any happier with it? I’ve heard many new parents say they understand the minivan joke (as soon as you have a kid, you end up with a minivan). The van isn’t needed in order to have enough room for the kid, but for all the stuff.

Life in Costa Rica is so simple. Less stuff, less stress.

Do you own your stuff, or does your stuff own you? Owning isn’t bad. But we must understand that there is a price to be paid for everything we own. Owning too much chips away at our freedom. We don’t buy things with money, we buy them with hours from our lives. Don’t buy things you don’t need. If things are not adding up in your life, start subtracting.
To reduce stress, give up your attachment to stuff and things. Collect moments, not things. You don’t need to own a lot of stuff to be happy. All you need is less… (the word ‘stuff’ has been used so many times it has now lost all meaning.)

 

The difference between men and women…

Andy and I purchased a mosquito zapping racquet (thanks to Katy for bringing it to us!). It has come in very handy as we become avid & dedicated mosquito hunters. Nothing is more satisfying than getting them before they get me.

When searching on Amazon for the perfect mosquito zapper, I made sure to read all the reviews on each one. I found it hysterical that every review written by a man started off with “It works! I zapped myself pretty good, just to see what it felt like.” Really? How idiotic! Who does that?? I just cannot picture a woman intentionally zapping herself with a piece of equipment that is made to kill insects instantly upon contact, with a lethal jolt of electricity. I got a good laugh over those reviews. And once our mosquito zapper arrived, I got an even better laugh after Andy comes inside and says “it works! I zapped myself pretty good just to see what it felt like.”

So that leads me to this question: If we put a group of women in an isolated room with an electric mosquito zapper, how many of them would zap themselves with it? My bet is 0. And how many men would? All of them. And that, my friends, is a factoid…



Don’t let your dreams be dreams…

In May of last year Andy came home from a bonfire at a friend’s house, walked into my office at 10pm on a Saturday night, as I was working, and said “Do you want to sell our house and move to Costa Rica?” “YES PLEASE”, I instantly replied, without thinking, before he even got the whole sentence out. Sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and just go where life takes you. Think less, jump more.

I felt like I had been waiting my whole life for him to walk into that room and ask me that question. I came across a post card many years ago, that really stood out to me. I kept it tacked up in my bathroom for years. It was a picture of this tiny yet cozy cottage, built over the ocean, with a sea kayak tied up outside. So simple, beautiful and peaceful, I considered it my “happy place”. The quote at the bottom read “If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.” That postcard always felt like home to me and seemed significant, so I hung onto it for all these years. Looking back, I think I needed that message in my head, permanently. So I would know exactly how to react when I was asked to sell everything I own and move to a country I had never been to and couldn’t point out on a map.

Ironically I had my palm read a few months before our big life decision. I recently came across the notes I took and it blew my mind. She told me that I had a major life change coming up, and that I was going to be given the opportunity to go on a very long, soul-searching journey. She said I needed to make sure to go for as long as possible and that this was a life-changing opportunity for me. She said the main lesson in this, for me, was to learn to let go of things in my life that I love, but that no longer serve me. To reduce the clutter in my life and to live more simply. To live outside my comfort zone, because that’s where life begins.

It’s amazing to me now how accurate that reading was. It’s also amazing to me how so many things in my life had to have gone the exact way they did, in order for me to say yes to Andy’s question that night. The books I’d recently read, the movies I’d watched, the conversations I’d recently had, the palm reading, my frustration with my work schedule & work stress, getting bad news about the health of family members and friends, and so many other things, making us realize how short and precious life truly is. Life is too short to wait.

Everything had to have happened just that way, at just that time, to put me in the correct mindset to say yes to that question, at that moment in our lifeline. I knew this was my chance to live the life I always wanted. We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us. Even if we failed, and moved back in 3 months, that was better than to not even try. Not trying is worse than failing. I knew we couldn’t afford to live with the regret of not trying. “I really regret spending money on that epic, life-changing trip” (– said no one ever). After all, travel is the only thing you can buy that actually makes you richer…



The Earth makes music for those who listen…

Lying on the sand, under my umbrella, I take in the sights and sounds. The waves crash steadily against the shore, laying down the beat of a jungle song. The whispering ocean breeze melts through the palm trees, as the pelicans dive, breaking through the surface of the salt water, in search of freshly caught dinner. A high-pitched scream pierces the salty air as a small child sprints across the warm sand at full speed, splashing straight into the ocean, as his concerned parents trail behind, shouting warnings of caution. The deep and steady howls of the howler monkeys fill the atmosphere, as a hermit crab rustles by me in the sand. The sea wind lifts up the edge of my umbrella, allowing the velvety sun to briefly blanket me with its warmth. Lost in thought, lost in the jungle, lost on the beach…it feels good to be lost in the right direction…



3 Comments
Gail
10/6/2015 05:38:35 pm

My favorite post so far! Can't wait to absorb some of your life lessons and experiences. You sound so peaceful.......mom

Reply
Heather Thompson
10/8/2015 09:22:01 am

Kari, I'm blown away by your writing. You have a way with words that really pulls the reader in. I'm loving your blog!!

Reply
Aunt Linda
10/9/2015 12:18:58 pm

Kari, love how you are embracing the laid-back lifestyle -- fewer things, more experiences. Keep writing these wonderful stories and sharing your new life with us.

Reply



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    Kari Pinkerton Silcox

    It would be a tragedy to die, having never really lived. Which is why my husband Andy and I quit our jobs, sold our house and decided to chase our dreams. We moved to Costa Rica without a plan, and this is the story of our adventure.
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